Monthly Archives: August 2010

During my last 5 years of stay in America, the one thing that has always managed to perplex me about this country is how much of a dichotomous heart it manages to hide under its own twinkling skin. This dichotomy is in its simultaneous sanctuary to the conservative and the ultra liberal, the billionaire and the homeless, the free spirit and the suicidal. While in a country like India which is only now beginning to take its first steps towards what can be termed intellectual enlightenment, we can expect ignorance and poverty to linger on for a bit. Its irrationality is justifiable. Its stupidity can be explained away. But finding such elements on a large scale in America, a country which literally leapfrogged ahead of everyone else during the 20th century and basically rode the crest of the wave intellectualism for much of the last two centuries, can only be termed anomalous. Specifically, I am speaking about the latest rally that FOX channel's Glenn Beck spearheaded at the Lincoln memorial. Glenn Beck as a phenomenon is actually easy to explain. In a sufficiently large group of humans, there are bound to be lunatics who have convinced themselves of all sorts of theories. Their nature must necessarily imply a predilection for falsities, irrationality, ignorance, insecurity, and mental derangement. They must necessarily believe in a lost golden age when 'concepts were simple', when issues could be easily resolved into 'right and wrong', in other words, when heart spoke the truth and the brain was looked at with skepticism. They must also necessarily believe that an age which is defined by shades of gray isn't so because it has to be so but because there is something seriously wrong with it - something which needs forced correction. I believe that this is an essential stage of social development and is bred by a lack of exposure to new ideas. Knowledge with its sweeping broom is expected to clear away such simplistic notions. And America is no stranger to great ideas and all forms of knowledge. In such a situation what I find most amazing is the fact that Glenn Beck's rally was attended by 500,000 people. The truth is that there is a deep divide within America. It is a highly, almost dangerously heterogeneous society and this society is being stretched at its seams. Maybe it has to do with the huge size of the country coupled with its relatively recent history - this ensures that intermingling, which is so essential for the exchange of ideas, proceeds at a slow rate. Maybe it has to do with the initial crop of people who came and inhabited this land - those who by their very origin were deeply religious. When you couple these factors with an environment where parts of the society and the country believe in an almost radical version of free though (if there is such a thing) you begin to understand how the deep divide and the insecure skepticism may arise. The result is a country divided between those who still cling to their Bibles because they have been left behind in the mad rush of progress and those who have crossed the chasm and now cannot understand what they perceive as a lack of basic rationality in the former. They are separated not only by geography but by time and while geographical homogenization may occur quite quickly, the temporal one has a mind of its own.

I am not saying that the coastal regions of the progressive part of the society are more rational compared to the religious midwest. They have their own concrete beliefs and they also view scientific thought (which, differentiated from mystical thought, is the only form of rational thought) with a cross-eyed skepticism. Their new age delusions are as amusing as the idea of a God who keeps a constant eye on you. They might be having different assumptions but their failing is the same - that their assumptions are final. Anyway, in a country which is segregated in so many different groups of people who have their beliefs sacred, I am amused that the one thing that all of them are deeply skeptical towards is the thing that made the country great in the first place. It is not really science because it is too narrow a term but a disposition towards inquiry. For a country which is seen as the beacon modernity, which must necessarily be accompanied by a welcoming attitude towards change, so many of its people cling on to their provincial notions. Is it true of all societies? Am I being too harsh on America? I don't know...

I have lately been in an unusually experimental mood. One of the main reasons for this is my renewed fascination with research which has encouraged a resurgence of the 'curious character' in me - which, by the way, is also behind the continuing lull in updates on this blog.

Anyway, it has always seemed fascinating to me as to how much we take the brain for granted. From its myriad neurological firings spring our love songs and our cold revenges, in its labyrinthine corridors lurk fascinating undiscovered potentials, and it holds our personalities with the death grip of a few electric signals. With a few fires here and there, it has the potential of changing the perception of reality and how we see ourselves with respect to the reality. It truly is a worthy subject to be curious about. I have always wondered how interesting it would be if I could simulate a condition where the brain is forced to perform in a way in which it is not used to performing. One way to achieve something similar is by tiring it so that it has to make some prioritizing decisions. I figured it would be interesting to see what happens when I tire it, for example, by sleep deprivation. My goal was to go at least 48 hours without sleep and I began by waking from Friday through to Saturday. I noticed that the most difficult hours in my effort to keep awake were between 5 and 7 but there was no major lack of coordination. I did notice that in my effort to play the Moonlight sonata's 1st movement, I felt much less inclined to complete the more complex parts on Saturday morning than I was on Friday night. I went with Khatri bhai to have an early breakfast on the beach but I noticed that even after just 24 hours it was taking me significantly more effort to engage in rational arguments. I was more inclined to agree with Khatri bhai's contentions although I did not have much trouble understanding him. It wasn't until 4 in the evening on Saturday that I could start feeling noticeable signs of mental tiredness. It was a nightmare (!) trying to keep awake through the afternoon and I had started having a slight burning sensation in my eyes. I called Nikhil and asked him if he would come with me to watch a movie in the theater so that I could keep awake and we decided to watch 'Get Low.' I rode my motorcycle to his place at 8:30 and we proceeded to the theater. It was then, after 36 hours, that I started feeling a definite incoherence in thought. It was taking me significantly more time to understand what he was saying and to respond to him. My voice was trailing off and I felt like I had to consciously spend effort in order to formulate basic ideas and sentences. My chain of thought would break down and it became an effort even to maintain balance while walking. While in the theater I could not understand the slight accent of the actors when Nikhil could do it easily. I felt definite irritation from the constantly changing lights on the screen. Most importantly, though, I felt the onset of serious palpitations. Even the slightest movement while sitting on the chair would send my heart racing and I had the constant urge to stretch my legs and hands. The movie finished at about 11:30 and I asked Nikhil to drop me home because I did not think motorcycle was an entirely safe idea then. I came back home at about 12:00, having done 40 hours now. By this time I had started feeling serious dizziness and a significant lack or coordination. I tried playing the Moonlight sonata but I kept making the simplest of mistakes. I would forget how to go from one bar to another and the notes on the sheet music just did not make sense. There was barely any coordination between the left and the right hands and my eyes had turned red from the effort. A few more hours (3:45 in the night - ~44 hours) and I felt the kind of anxiety I have never felt before. I had started blinking much more than normal, my fingers were shaking, and there was a constant urge to stretch. I had started breathing through my mouth because I felt that I could not get all the air I needed with each breath. My heart was pounding at a worrisome rate and I could just not fix my thoughts on any one subject. It was then that I decided that there is no way I could make it to 8 in the morning without taking rest. Through the last 44 hours I had not even laid down for the fear of going to sleep and ruining the experiment so I thought I would lay down for a bit. The next thing I remember- it's 12:00 on Sunday morning. I have very little recollection of yesterday's movie - I am certainly not sure how it ended, although I was awake through it all and I have no idea when exactly I slept.

I think it was a very interesting weekend. If nothing then it at least convinced me that I never want to do it again!