Category Archive: Uncategorized

Disclaimer: Everything I say (ever in life) is probably said in a dazed state and probably does not mean a thing and probably is here just so that I (or others) could get a laugh. Please don't go marching on the streets protesting my arrest as an anti-social element. Howsoever crazy the idea seems, I want to tell you that you do have the right to NOT read it if you don't want to.
----------------------------------

Lately I have been getting so many junk forwards, I have seriously considered wielding my hatchet over those unsuspecting innocent souls who, I guess, do not realize that just by pressing a send over the "Forward" button in their mail browsers, they are helping in dumbing down the Internet to levels I had not thought possible (Yes, I have a hatchet. I keep it for emergencies like burgulary, street fights, terror attacks, if I meet Karan Johar or Ekta Kapoor some day, if there are too many children blasting off my ears in an an airplane etc.). The situation has become so bad, I have had to make a mail filter which sends mails with subjects having the word "Fwd" or any of its variants straight to Trash. I had thought of sending an e-hatchet as an auto reply to such mails but realized that I still live in a "civilized" society so probably that won't be taken in the right spirit. Nevertheless, here are some of the common types of forwards people keep inflicting upon humanity even though I am sure they have not had abusive parentage or exploited childhood and the world does not have anything against them:

1. 26 things a boyfriend should do to make his girlfriend love him: Just when you are rubbing your hands in excitement at being in the possession of the greatest set of gurumantra ever, you read the first point and are forced to break your Television just because you would probably have inflicted fatal wounds to your head had you not had some inanimate object to vent your fury upon. It reads, "Say ouch cutely when she hits you". Seriously ? Isn't that supposed to be spousal abuse and violence ? How about my making a video of the hienous crime and dragging her to the court so that I could extract some money out of the incidence upon charges of manhandling, mental trauma and violence and then buying some Round Table cheese slices, which by the way rule so much, I sometimes have to wonder if even God has them in his lunch (because I am pretty sure that God is a vegetarian).

2. Help a child dying with cancer. Pass this email : This kind of mail is probably written by someone (I will call him the 'Hacker!' in the spirit of the 'Dude!') who, I am guessing, flunked his computer course in his undergrad. He is not good enough to code-up a virus which could go to people's mail boxes and kick everyone's ass by transmitting itself to all those present in the address book, so he just makes up a laughably foolish tale of a cancer child who would be saved miraculously, if only you could forward his mail to all of your friends (thereby bringing the tally of your friends to ZERO). How pathetic ! you 'Hacker!'. THE ONE THING YOU HAD TO DO!!!. Even if I wanted to help that poor child, I am too lazy (and probably wise) to send it to all of my acquaintances. You could as well have coded a virus and named it "I-am-a-malicious-virus-but-I-believe-that-you-are-foolish-enough-to-still-fall-in-the-trap-and-open-me-for-I-have-been-effectively-disguised-to-take-advantage-of-your-bleeding-heart.vir" and be sure that with the amount of intelligence I have been gifted, I would easily have opened it. Seriously. Does anyone ever send those mails forward ? Oh wait! How did I get this ?... Where is my hatchet ?

3. Send this to 3 people, you will have your wish........... otherwise.............: Ooooooooooooooooooo. I am so afraid, I could not even sleep properly and had to watch KKKG IAALYF (for those of you who could not decode it: Kabhee khushi kabhee gham, Its all about loving your family, Yo!) just so that I could sleep (too bad that I almost choked upon suffocating mediocrity). I am so damn scared about the possibility of the curse of a junk mail ruining my life, I almost decide to do the impossible and the despicable i.e. send it to 3 friends atleast but then I wake up. The worst part of such a forward is that you see that the person who has sent you the mail has sent it to either 3 or 6 or 9 persons (or whatever number the mail mentions) and realize that homo sapiens is no longer the cleverest of all species. Seriously, I have stopped making donkey jokes. If donkeys ever come to know about this, they will kick some serious human ass.

4. From the desk of Mr......, Burkina Faso : These are one of those mails which claim that they are willing to pay millions of dollars for nothing and the worst part with them is that their subject does not contain "Fwd" so I cannot delete them automatically. But guess what. Their premise is so overwhelmingly foolish, you would believe that all the foolishness in the world has been used up by this one mail, but then you watch "Kyonki saas bhee kabhee bahu thee" and start believing in the infinity of foolishness. These mails are so stupid, they could as well have contained "Fwd" in their subject. Their subject would have read "Fwd: You have won 13 million dollars" and you would have wondered how come such an important and personal news comes to me in the form of a Forward. But if you think like this, you deserve to get scammed by those people. Here is what you do when you get one of these mails: DELETE THEM. Personally, I always send them an e-hatchet in return just because thos fools did not include an "Fwd" in their subject line and wasted my precious time.

There is so much much more but I am bored now. Rest for later.

Ok. Pop Quiz.

Q1. What the hell is wrong with the world ?
Q2. Why are people like Mallika Sherawat, Koena Mitra and Rakhi Sawant still alive ?
Q3. What right do they have to be so damn stupid ?

I was just watching this KBC episode on youtube when my room-mate happened to click on Mallika's new year stage performance. Just as I was watching her shameless antics, I realized that we as a society might be closer to chimpanzees than we think (or perhaps Jellyfishes or donkeys). Nevertheless, I couldn't figure out how on earth could it be broadcasted on national television. I mean, where has all the decency gone ? For god's sake, freedom of expression is one thing and jiggling your undraped body over national television (NEWS!) for the viewing pleasure (or displeasure) of general public including children, parents and elderly is an altogether different ball game. Last time I heard, sensuality was supposed to be expressed more in subtlety than in crassness. When did they change that ? When did the general public lose all its taste for quality ? I would like to answer some of the general arguments in support of such shows that we face :

1. Its a feminist revolution.
Argument: No kidding. Seriously ? Lets just ask Rakhi Sawant what she understands by feminism some day. I have a pretty good idea about her IQ (after reading those interviews) and I can safely say that she won't score better than a mentally retarded earthworm who has had 3 tequila shots. The problem lies in the fact that too many ladies today are ready to climb up the ladder by selling their bodies and are too ashamed to admit it and would rather attribute their behaviour to some screwed up notion of feminism. They have no idea what injustices the feminist movement struggled against but are all too ready to take the shelter of 'feminism' when asked uncomfortable questions like 'Was it so necessary to take your clothes off for an action sequence ?". Why won't they just stand for their beliefs and principles. I guess they don't have any.

2. Its a matter of personal choice. Don't watch it if you don't like.
Argument: First of all, I can safely say that such an argument would either come from one of those metropolitant youths who have far too much money to have any rationality left in their heads or those college kids who, I am sorry to say, have only a preliminary idea of reality because, lets face it, between all their breakups and romances and classes and picnics and parties and discos, they hardly have any time left for rational inquiry (I was not very different so I don't blame them). Nevertheless, do I mind ? Hell yes I do. It would have been fine if Mallika had done an X-rated video and sold her CDs but who gives her the right to come dancing in my living room in all her transparent glory, completely uninvited ? Personal choice, my foot. The next person who tries to be diplomatic and "open-minded" and tries to teach me that I am one of those few orthodox fools who have been left behind in all this modernistic wave will have his hair pulled off and his foot in his mouth.

3. Have it. Flaunt it. (Mallika said this once I guess)
Argument: Agreed. But I am sure you have more. Why not flaunt that. Or am I crossing a sacrosanct territory ? Why this hypocrisy ? Why don't you flaunt it in every possible scene or party or movie ? Because somewhere down below you want to be seen as a serious actress, right ? Well get this, you are not. You probably possess as much acting talent as a charred log of wood. Only you are more annoying.

4. The scene (situation) demands it
Argument: Boy I have heard drivel. High quality insanity. But this line takes the cake. Who are they trying to fool. Agreed that as a society, we have failed miserably but still the average IQ of the nation would be atleast 20 points higher than any of those random actresses. Your veil is as transparent as your dress, missy.

I yearn for those days when sensuality and sexuality were implied. It doesn't have to be gross and visible to leave an impact. Too much detail kills the feel and the emotion of a situation and renders it disgusting. So while I understand that crass sexuality is a reality I have to live with, there is an easy solution which could remedy the situation. Instead of using garbage for making landfills, we could as well dump immoral hacks like Koena Mitra, Neha Dhupia etc. there. Although our environment would start smelling foul with all the garbage around, I for one is ready to live with that. Besides, I am sure that howsoever worthless the lives of such people are, they will atleast make usable manure.

If the title, "Manos" The hands of fate, does not strike cold fear into your heart then seriously dude, you need to see a doctor. This is one of those movies which comes once in a century, kicks incomprehensible amount of ass but no one notices because everyone is busy either crying buckets in KKKG (IAALYF) (for those who could not decode it: Kabhee khushi kabhee gham, Its all about loving your family, yo!) or racking their neurons on occult and ultimately futile endeavours like Mulholland Drive or going "Yo! America" in movies like Independence Day and God-bless-America-for-saving-the-world-again-for-everyone-else-is-supposedly-pusillanimous-enough-not-to-be-able-to-stand-on-their-own-feet.

The movie was written, produced, directed and starred (stop laughing) by American fertilizer salesman (I said stop!) Hal Warren as the result of a bet he made with his friends wherein he intended to make a successful horror movie on a shoestring budget. The movie was a complete failure at the box office but later scientific analysis of this phenomenon revealed that it happened because the theatre going public was still caught in the post-modernistic era and the frontal lobes of their brains were not developed enough to appreciate the genius of this great piece of art. Its like Vincent Van Gogh. He did not sell even a single painting all his life but look at the scene now, huh? Who is laughing his ass off now ? I would love to see the sullen faces of those who refused to buy his paintings then. Same is the case with Manos. 3 milleniums from now when homo sapiens will have developed enough to ragard story, coherence, dialogues, direction, acting, screenplay, edition and music as not so necessary elements for a good movie, this movie will kick some serious ass.

The movie starts with a 13 minute sequence where a camera just keeps on looking out from a moving car towards green fields and mountains. It was supposed to be the time when they had to roll the credits but basically those guys forgot this small detail so we just have a moving car for 13 minutes. Now don't think even for a second that this is a complete waste. Boy oh boy. Believe me, you will need to get settled for this movie. You will need each one of those 13 minutes to sink comfortably back in your chair because once the kickery starts, you will have your face rocked off forever. You will have to deal with one corny dialogue after another, one incoherent scene after another, one ham-act after another until you are left gasping for air, your hair all wet with perspiration, your voice barely making its way out of your parched mouth, your life begging for mercy. But mind you. No mercy shall be shown for Manos, the evil master, does not approve of mercy.

Man, I could go on and on and not be able to capture the glory of the movie in words. Lets just say that "Manos" The hands of fate is probably the most interesting event in the history of the universe after big bang i.e. if Big Bang ever happened. If not than "Manos" The hands of fate is THE greatest event ever. Here is a wikipedia article (written by some ignorant moron) about the movie. Don't believe even a single word. You have no idea how far off the mark, the article is :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%22Manos%22_The_Hands_of_Fate

I am sure that what I am about to say might invite a lot of flak but I would still go ahead and commit harakiri by stating something that I think is as axiomatic in the world as the result of 2+2 but nevertheless, is seldom admitted in social gatherings and public, for it carries with it the risk of inducing gasps, incredulous stares and hostile behaviour in fellow homo sapiens. So here it goes:

"FRIENDS SUCKS"

Man I feel so relieved. To even think that a human being could pack such an overwhelming amount of truth in just 2 words might have given jitters to people in the later part of the last century. But seriously, it is not me. Its just that 'Friends' is so crappy, any more words used to describe its crappiness would seem superfluous. Its like if you are trying to berate the actions of hitler. You just sway your head and say what he did was monstrous. You just cannot catch that amount of monstrosity in words so why even try ? Same is the case with Friends. The story of 6 people living in close proximity (literally), doing, well umm... nothing for most part, speaking, well umm... nothing substantial for most part and behaving, well umm... quiet immorally for most part.

Each episode starts with my imagining how much fun it would be to punch each one of them in the face (although for some inexplicable reason they never air this fantasy... I wonder why), then wanders onto exactly three different relationship issues. Each episode features new 'relationships' and after the 3rd episode of season 2, I became thoroughly confused as to who 2 were siblings, who was engaged to whom a few episodes back and why did they break up. I gave up trying to figure out as to why I should laugh at each of Joey's foolish acts (Seriously, if you keep banging your head on the door, a time will come when a sane person will stop laughing) or the smartass comments which the rest of the cast keep on inflicting upon the world for no apparent reason. I contest that the presence of a mere laughing track playing in the background is not reason enough for me give free reins to my zygomaticus major muscle.

To say the truth, there was a time when I used to like Friends but then I turned 20 and realized that comedy does not have to stoop to the level of mindless antics to be entertaining and that things which insult my intelligence as a human being do not deserve any respect whatsoever. I guess Friends is a big hit in India also and the only reason I can see is the complete lack of competing intelligent humour on Indian television but thats a completely different issue.

Before someone asks me, I would like to answer the question: 'If its so bad why do you keep on watching it'. The answer is simple. Its funny. No not the show. I do not laugh because of the show. I laugh at the show. And moreover, its an awesome feeling pestering the hell out of those who like the show :). Its the same reason why I argue with my parents about those Ekta Kapoor shows or with some of my friends about Karan Johar movies or with my roommate about how cricket is better than soccer. I just want to see how mad they will become before realizing that the argument is as worthless as a 5 paise coin.

I had decided not to write anything before I perfect Fur Elise (:-)) but the latest developments have been so astounding that I could not restrain myself.

Ha Ha Ha Ha.......................
I could laugh all through the article and be able to convey my deepest emotions over the Semi Final in Australian Open between Federer and Roddick, but I guess it won't be that interesting a read. So I will try to put in words what can only be surmised in skipped heartbeats and astonished gasps.

So much for the gap being closed. So much for the challenge of the young and the roar of the contemprory. So much for Federer being mortal. If you did not see the cold blooded murder which was committed this wednesday, you have missed one of the greatest spectacles which this creatively stunted society has to offer. It was not so much a victory but more of a virtuoso performance wherein Roddick was just reduced to the role of the facilitator of greatness. He was reduced to the status of a mere spectator (albiet with the best seats in the stadium) who watched helplessly as impossible cross-court passes eluded his formidable reach, as screaching forehand winners whizzed past his ears and as perfectly calculated lobs went soaring over his head. I do not blame his frustration. You are not supposed to be humiliated in such a fashion WHEN YOU ARE RANKED 6 IN THE WORLD. You are not supposed to be broken 5 times straight when YOU HAVE THE FASTEST SERVE IN THE WORLD. You are not supposed to be decimated in such a fashion when YOU HAVE BEEN KICKING EVERYONE ELSE'S ASS.

Federer glided on the court with the aplomb of Galina Ulanova (Ballet). He played with the imagination and creativity of Beethoven. He dominated with the ferocity of the Don (Bradman) and took care of affairs with the promptness and expertise of Holmes (Sherlock). It was such a spiritual experience. Just when I think the world has got nothing more to offer than stale celebrity gossip, depressing violent tales, immoral escapades of trechearous politicians or the vulgar materialistic success stories, something this pure comes up and reinstates my belief in basic human creativity.

There is still a final to go and I am sure that if Federer loses, there will be an army of people ready to kick my ass for my unabashed boasting Fedex's godlike stature. But what the hell. The chances of that happening are less than that of my getting "ALL" of this years nobel prizes and the next field medal :).

While writing my last post, I happened to write something about 'Dudes!' but felt that I had not really done justice to their potential with the small mention I made. So here it goes. A humble view of a humble person on the infinite greatness of 'Dudes!' and 'Dudeness!'.

First of all, I should set some ground rules. Any mention of this alpha race of humans and its exploits in this post will only be made inside the exclusiveness of apostrophes and will be followed by an exclamation mark, like 'Dudes!'. It is my way of giving them the respect they deserve and serves to linguistically express my awe and admiration everytime I see or talk about one of them.

So how do you know whether someone is a 'Dude!' or not ? They are an elusive breed you see and like to keep to their own generally. One of the distinguishing factors of 'Dudes!' is their I-don't-give-a-damn-about-anything-under-the-sun attitude which is well supported by their unweildy dressing sense, their habit of making smartass comments for untirely obscure reasons, their overall demeanor of having been extremely bored with the world in general and their general lack of basic hygiene. All of this is fine but the most basic trait which raises a mere mortal to the level of 'Dude!' is their uncanny ability of making the wrongest judgements at the wrongest possible time eventhough they had given as much thought to the problem at hand as was humanely possible for them. It is not really their fault. It is nature's way of saying, 'I wish smiles to you all'. They have a greater purpose than we mortals can possibly fathom. The 'Dude!' is working his butt off to bring happiness and joy to the millions who would otherwise have committed suicide in this depressing world. Whenever you read about an overzealous man getting gored by a bull just because he teased that fool a bit or a brave rebel getting rounded up and beaten by the police just because he did not look back to see that all his supporters had vanished or a politician who has made a living out of making smartass comments over Iraq and now brings smiles to the face of millions by constantly fuelling the episodes of 'The daily show' by making an ass of himself, you know that somewhere out there, a 'Dude!' is silently at work. Somewhere behind the scenes, the 'Dude!', relentlessly, is getting the kicking of his life just so that you could have a little colour in life.

The ironical, almost sad part of this amazing story is that the 'Dude!' never wants to land in trouble. He just wants to lead a simple isolated, quiet life. But fate, acting like the unreasonable villain it is, takes the views and actions of the 'Dude!' at their face value. It doesn't understand that the 'Dude!' challenged the herculean bully just because he wanted to impress his girlfriend or that he cried 'Hail Osama' at the airport just for fun or that he genuinly believed that he could jump from the third floor and land precisely on a bike moving at 60.

Since nature plots such vile a plan against the 'Dude!', the 'Dude!' in the greater scheme of things gets reduced merely to the role of the facilitator of giggles. And we should give him credit for this sacrifice. We should understant that even though 'His holy Dude!' doesn't like it, he suffers to bring us joy in myriad ways. So next time when you see a dog running after a guy who happened to bark at it or someone hanging with his nails on a wall who thought that the chair would be able to carry his 400 pounds or a million other such incidents taking place daily, allow yourself a smile for that is all he demands. That is all he is screwing his life for. The 'Dude', in all his holy 'Dudeness' suffers for you and in return, just demands a smirk.

I am not sure if you have seen this movie or not but I sure do remember watching it in Mayfair theatre in Lucknow (it shut down after this movie) on a hot summer day. Boy, was I happy then. English movies were very rare back then and if I remember correctly it was only the second one I had ever seen. It was amazing. All those planes blowing up left right and center. The evil aliens and entirely unnecessary love stories. The heroic President ( India had Devegowda those days) and his heroic commanders. The rest of the world waiting with its bated breath, watching how America saved the world. Boy, wasn't I STUPID.

I happened to catch on with the movie on tbs this evening and I must tell you, I felt proud at how much I have matured since the time I last saw it. You see, it is one of those movies which are so cheesy, so insanely stupid that they have immuned themselves from any prospective 'spoof' attacks. They are infact their own spoofs. Any more attempts at mocking those movies will only end up mocking themselves. Its like trying to spoof Kabhee Khushi Kabhee gham (Its all about loving your family). For crying out loud, even the title is by far the most hilarious combination of english words ever concieved by man. You see the problem ? No one can mock this. The hilarious rapture that a crying Shahrukh khan, Hrithik Roshan, Mr. and Mrs. Bachchan together can provide can hardly be matched by the directorial muscle of anyone less talented than Karan Johar.

Nevertheless, back to the roasting of Independence day, I must say that the movie is essentially a compilation of 3 things:

1. A beaten to death plot of aliens invading Earth for entirely obscure reasons. I never get this point. Like Calvin, I also believe that there is intelligent life in the universe and it is proved by the fact that it has not tried to contact us. What on earth can we offer them anyways ? A social structure based upon differences, tenuously hanging by the threads of compromises? A morally decaying society and an increasingly polluted atmosphere?

2. Regularly interspersed booms and bangs and shrieks and monstrous fireballs and emotional cliches and kisses and love stories and maudlin sentiments.

3. A heavy dose of badass guys with smartass comments. you won't believe how incredible those guys are. They are the DUDES. Their dudeness shines in their slick, in-your-face, trying-to-be-smart-but-managing-to-be-plain-stupid comments. If anyone on United 93 possessed even a fraction of the dudeness these guys ooze on 9/11, he would just have smiled at the terrorists and said 'Do whatever you want, just keep your voice down' and again went off to sleep, before dying ofcourse.

But the best part of the movie is the premise that the aliens which have travelled so many light years just to see some fireworks on Earth get defeated by a simple virus planted by a DUDE. I was wondering, what if the Aliens had Norton. They sure would have laughed their arse off at the stupid humans.

If you have seen the movie, I am terribly sorry at reminding you your horrible past. If not, I guess you get the idea.

I recently came across this documentary which depicted how mass consumerism was consciously introduced in the American society. I saw how the American economy was transferred from a need based system to a desire based system. How ownership of cars was projected as a depiction of male sexuality and how female smoking was consciously projected as a voice again male chauvinism. For a second I thought, god, how idiotic, I am sure the public will be able to see through it all. Well, what do you know, American society today is as materialistically crass as the latest charitable publicity stunt of all those hollywood celebrities and the modern Indian society is following like a faithful dog. It was so sad that I could not watch the full documentary. I hardly hate anyone more than those who refuse to think rationally, build a set a beliefs and have an informed opinion. Looking at the present scenario, I am led to believe that 95% of the human population hardly uses its rational powers, which is another way of saying that 95% of the population is foolish. Not inherently foolish. Just affectedly foolish. Foolish because they do not want to take the pains of rational thinking. Rational thinking - something that differentiates us from animals and jellyfishes and trees and furniture. Good job humanity. It seems that we have come a full circle of evolution.

To all those who buy into the above set of value (or the lack thereof), just some advices so that they can start using their brains for things it was originally meant to do :

- If you think that cigarettes or cars or hard drinks or meat filled burgers accenuate your male sexuality and ego, please be aware that you have a miniscule personality to build upon anyways. If I can pass it off without hurting your ego too much (which I hope to do), you lack the strength of character. The rest of it is just smoke filled partyhouse crap.

- If you think that smoking symbolizes a stance against male dominance, you will be surprised to hear that well, it does not. It was a gimmick started 80 years ago so that 50% of the world population can be addicted to it. I respect women's right for equality (my opinion doesn't matter anyways) but please do not play into the hands of the corporations for attaining it. There is no point trying to look like the plastic faced, personality less, dumb headed celebrities which seem to be pottering every nook and corner of every TV channel and magazine and newspaper. The fact that those ladies do not have anything else to gain respect from except their looks and apparel doesn't mean that you also need to give up intellect and grace for gaining it.

- If you think that you child will feel out of place if he does not has the latest technological gadget or bike or fancy dress or for god's sake english language, you probably belong to points 1 or 2 yourself. Now that you have screwed up most of your life anyways, its time to hammer in some brains into that little brat of yours. Why not try building some self respect in him ? You can either do it by patiently talking to him or if he is too spoilt for that, try giving him a regular dose of lets just say, not so friendly pat on the backs (Seriously, I believe in 'Spare the rod........').

- And if you think that those ads which advertise great tasting dog food really have figured out the culinary likes of your pet, you need to go to an asylum. No, on second thoughts, you should be kept in a museum just to depict how close man got to get intellectually confused with a chimpanzee.

Please, please, think. Don't follow what others are doing without giving it a thought. Spare some time and brains on figuring out why you believe in the things you believe in. Otherwise there is not much difference between a human and a lump of rotting garbage. If you give that lump a shape, the ability to walk, and the ability to talk incessantly, I guess you won't be able to make out the difference.

Well, who am I kidding. 95% of the population thinks I am a nutcase :).

Without any undue story-buildup, let me present some interesting phrases which are easily encountered in day-to-day conversation and which make a person, not so gifted in the mental faculties like me, think about their meaning and even relevance to the present situation:

1. "Like whatever dude" : I hereby contest that mankind in all its humble ingenuity has never ever come up with a vaguer concoction of words. To even think that a set of just 3 words could convey so much vagueness is overwhelming. Look at the sentence. 'Whatever' in itself is probably the single most confused and vague word ever invented by man. It points to no one in particular. It references no particular direction of thought. And worse, it simultaneously tries to point to and reference every possible subject under the sun. If I were given the authority of replacing 'whatever' with something else, I would rather have decreed that whenever someone needs to use 'whatever', he would rather just maintain silence for 2.3 seconds (written as "Like -------- dude"). See, it communicates as much meaning with a negligible waste of energy. Nevertheless, then the speaker is trying to equate some situation with 'whatever'. Now, I would not have gone nuts if 'like' was a normal word. 'Like', in modern societies is spoken not as a verb or a preposition but as a conjunction (for eg. 'and') and is just used to join sentences so different from each other that every such usage of 'like' is disturbing the sleep of dead victorians all across the world. Nevertheless, even if we take this usage of like in the prepositional spirit, what is the speaker trying to convey ? I might have asked him, so how was the food ? Pat came the answer, 'Like whatever dude', and I with an obviously stunted social comprehension factor is left in the lurch to ruminate over the multitude of possibilities that the food could have tasted like.

Crap!, I thought academia was difficult and art was difficult and a million other elaborately planned human pastimes were difficult. I never thought that I would be so stumped by just 3 words. To the proponents of modern language, I present to thee, my head on a platter :).

P.S: I thought that I would include a few more phrases but this one turned out to have a lot more potential than I expected. So others will have to wait.